We’ve all been there. The all-nighters; the marathon stints; the ‘I should’ve really done more at half-term!’ final weekend push. Oh the joys of report writing. Congratulations to those organised and disciplined enough to spread the workload; to the ones who learn from their previous (and horrendous) experiences. For the rest of us, there’s redbull; coffee; wine and – if you’re brave (and crazy!) enough…copy and paste! It’s a risky business; a slippery slope – as my mate Ted ‘O Brien once found out…
Mr ‘O Brien – Whose Reports All Said Ryan!
It’s report-writing season- you better be braced;
Don’t you DARE be seduced by the ‘Copy & Paste’
Or suffer the fate of poor Mr ‘O Brien;
Whose 30 Y3s all went home known as Ryan!
He started off well; finished every front cover;
Then he left ‘em for two weeks to fully recover;
‘I’ve started!’ – he told himself day after day;
Until after a month, his smile slipped away.
So he opened the folder ‘Reports Y3B’;
A sickening feeling I’m sure you’d agree?
He added whatever required a tick;
And signed off on reports for a week with a click.
After another smug weekend, his Headteahcher said:
‘Reports in on Wednesday – I need them in, Ted.’
‘O Brien replied as I know we all do:
‘Im on it. I’ve just general comments to do!’
That night he got going – with no time to waste;
But was too trigger-happy with copy and paste!
The first comment – Ryan’s – he finished with glee;
Then he went a bit crazy with ctrl and ‘C’
He was pasting for England through all his reports;
And just changing kids names – or at least he had thought;
Poor Ted – he had blown it – he’d messed up the lot!
All the kids were called Ryan, both the twins, Jane and Scott.
It was six ‘o clock Wednesday – he’d pulled an all-nighter;
OB was hacullinating and two stone lighter!
With no time to proof-read they were printed – sent out;
The first parent came in and she started to shout.
He wasn’t too fussed though ‘cause her child was Brian;
So it’s perfectly plausible he ended up Ryan.
But the 29 others were a little more bitter;
And by 3:35 it was all over Twitter!
The school’s rep destroyed – all the headlines were grand:
‘LIKE VOLDERMORT, TOWN WANT NAME ‘RYAN’…BANNED!’
So avoid your own last-minute copy/paste spree;
Or be heckled when shopping like Mr OB.