We’ve all been there. The all-nighters; the marathon stints; the ‘I should’ve really done more at half-term!’ final weekend push. Oh the joys of report writing. Congratulations to those organised and disciplined enough to spread the workload; to the ones who learn from their previous (and horrendous) experiences. For the rest of us, there’s redbull; coffee; wine and – if you’re brave (and crazy!) enough…copy and paste! It’s a risky business; a slippery slope – as my mate Ted ‘O Brien once found out…

Mr ‘O Brien – Whose Reports All Said Ryan!

It’s report-writing season- you better be braced;

Don’t you DARE be seduced by the ‘Copy & Paste’

Or suffer the fate of poor Mr ‘O Brien;

Whose 30 Y3s all went home known as Ryan!

He started off well; finished every front cover;

Then he left ‘em for two weeks to fully recover;

‘I’ve started!’ – he told himself day after day;

Until after a month, his smile slipped away.

So he opened the folder ‘Reports Y3B’;

A sickening feeling I’m sure you’d agree?

He added whatever required a tick;

And signed off on reports for a week with a click.

After another smug weekend, his Headteahcher said:

‘Reports in on Wednesday – I need them in, Ted.’

‘O Brien replied as I know we all do:

‘Im on it. I’ve just general comments to do!’

That night he got going – with no time to waste;

But was too trigger-happy with copy and paste!

The first comment – Ryan’s – he finished with glee;

Then he went a bit crazy with ctrl and ‘C’

He was pasting for England through all his reports;

And just changing kids names – or at least he had thought;

Poor Ted – he had blown it – he’d messed up the lot!

All the kids were called Ryan, both the twins, Jane and Scott.

It was six ‘o clock Wednesday – he’d pulled an all-nighter;

OB was hacullinating and two stone lighter!

With no time to proof-read they were printed – sent out;

The first parent came in and she started to shout.

He wasn’t too fussed though ‘cause her child was Brian;

So it’s perfectly plausible he ended up Ryan.

But the 29 others were a little more bitter;

And by 3:35 it was all over Twitter!

The school’s rep destroyed – all the headlines were grand:

‘LIKE VOLDERMORT, TOWN WANT NAME ‘RYAN’…BANNED!’

So avoid your own last-minute copy/paste spree;

Or be heckled when shopping like Mr OB.